Why condoms are packed 3, 6, 12 to a box?

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,

"What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies,

"Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively.

"Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."


He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,

"Why are there 3 in this package?"


The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys.One for Friday,

o! ne for Saturday, and one for Sunday."


"Cool!" says the boy.He notices a 6 pack and asks,

"Then who are these for?"


"Those are for college men." the dad answers.

"Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."


"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks,

picking up a 12 pack.


With a sigh, the dad replied

"Those are for married men.One for January, one for February, one for
March........"

---------------------------------------------END---------------------------------------------

仙人掌...

仙人掌~~~一定笑到你肚痛-.-

小學一年級的小朋友們想要在母親節時送
點特別的東東給他們的媽媽，最後大家決
定送母親一盆自己種的植物。

但是因為他們沒什麼錢，又不想隨便找個
醜醜的盆子和植物送給媽媽們，於是全班
決定一起向鎮上的商人訂購三十幾個可愛
小丑形狀的花盆，並在裡面種仙人掌，
因為仙人掌據說很好養，而且通常可以活
很久....

在老師的指導下仙人掌在小丑花盆內長得
相當的好，但是母親節到時 ，小朋友們
卻不被允許將自己所種好的仙人掌帶回家
送給媽媽，而且被學校校長沒有理由的給
強迫全部換成長春藤，並由學校統一送給
媽媽們。

小朋友當然火大極了，那些仙人掌可是
他們小心翼翼、用他們小小的手兒給照顧
長大的，為什麼變成了長春藤？

還是母親節規定不能送仙人掌？

可他們永遠不會知道在母親節的前一個
禮拜，學校老師將所有的仙人掌照了一張
照片，並拿給校長看..............就像這樣!
↓
↓
↓

Artistic paper work...

Mr. Bean Jokes

MR. BEAN SEES A DOCTOR :
Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor : Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher : What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean : 9
Teacher : What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean : Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk : Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend : What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend : Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

MARRIAGE:
Friend : How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend : Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend : How was the tape you borrowed! from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend : What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend : condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend : what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague : Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean : That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SPELLING LESSON:
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean : Make it three c to be sure!

-------------------------------------END-------------------------------------

Something Really Funny.....

A 95 year old man sucks his 90 year old wife's breast for half and hour and drinks
2 drops of milk. POSTMORTEM REPORT - death due to drinking milk after
EXPIRY DATE !!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Husband reading a book on bed with wife beside. His finger went to tease wife's
pussy. Wife ask "you want sex"? Husband answer "No", just want to wet my

finger to turn the page.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rooster $ Cat going over bridge. Cat slips & falls into river. Rooster can't stop

laughing. Moral of story? Whenever there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant !!

Which Male pencil is responsible?

THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Girls' reaction to penis sizes:
9" : Oh shit, pain !

7" : Oh yes, shiok !

6" : Ohhh, perfect !

5" : Eemm, Ok !

4" : Push more !

3" : Is it in?

2" : Idiot ! just use your tongue !

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for calling 1900- NEEDSEX hotline.

For hot sex press 1.

For breast sex press 2.

For combo sex press 3.

For oral sex press 4.

To end this call press your Balls !!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES".. OK, BYE". She

turns to her lover and says,

THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.

Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!

Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!

Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the most difficult GOLF COURSE in this world?

Answer : INTER COURSE.

No matter how many strokes or what style you play, your balls will never go in !!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FACT : Women can get a 2 inch wide penis into a 1.5 inch vagina in pitchdark,

but can't get a fucking 15 feet car into a 40ft parking space in broad daylight !!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher asked : Which part of the body goes to heaven first? A kid name

Johnny reply... the LEGS.. because everynight I see my mum's legs up high

and and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

COCK says to his two BALLS : I am going to take you with me to party.

BALLS said : You fucking liar!! You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting

OUTSIDE !!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 Guys were introduced to a girl.

Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint.

I'm Paul not a POPE.

I'm John not a Baptist...

The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do men have pubic hair?

A: A nest for their bird...

Q: Why do women have pubic hair?

A: A resting place for the coming bird !!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What does it mean when a girl offers PEPSI to a guy :
P : Please

E : Enter

P : Penis

S : Slowly

I : Inside

Ahhhhh... Shiok....ask for more

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time. Mistresses are Tom yams..

Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently. WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's nothing

to eat.!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as

CHICKEN FARMER. She replied : I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Girl who opens her hand receives gifts. Open her heart receives love.

But when she opens her legs, she receives happiness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday's News:- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do Indians talk non stop?
guess....
Still dunno?
OK lah.....

Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their forehead.

--------------------------------------------End-------------------------------------------------

你可以忍住不笑嗎 !?

如果笑了，不就是幸災樂禍了嗎 !?但是真的忍不住耶 !!





救難大隊出動囉 !





靠北 ...... 那ㄟ安捏 !?







要吊到什麼時候啊 ~

Creative Business Cards

Creative Business Cards

Business card from 'Lush Lawn and Property Enhancement'.
The business cards were letter pressed by hand and stuffed with grass seed.
The best thing about them is when you hand one out, the seeds
shake and instantly pay off the idea.



Business Card from a Couples Therapist





100% discreet business cards for head hunter Aert van Seggelen. Completely edible
business cards with 'read it then eat it' instruction.




Business card from a divorce lawyer. The perforated card demonstrates
what a divorce lawyers can do.




Business card from a Furniture Company




Business Card from a Second Hand store




Business card from a Dentist



Business card from a Graphic Designer




Business card from an Acupuncturist




Business Card from a Personal Trainer

小哲理； 大道理。 Part 1 - 02/07/09

【和尚与屠夫】

从前有一个和尚跟一个屠夫是好朋友。和尚天天早上要起来念经，而屠夫天天要起来杀猪。
为了不耽误他们早上的工作，是他们约定早上互相叫对方起床。

多年以后，和尚与屠夫相继去世了。屠夫去上天堂了，而和尚却下地狱了。

Why??? 因为屠夫天天作善事，叫和尚起来念经，相反地，和尚天天叫屠夫起来杀生……


小哲理：
你所认为的事情以及你所做的东西你一直认为是对的，但有时后却不一定是对的。
<做每样事情时,不妨站在其他人的角度看一看,想一想吧!>

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

【皮鞋的来历】

很久很久以前，人类都还赤着双脚走路。有一位国王到某个偏远的乡间旅行，因为路面崎岖
不平，有很多碎石头，刺得他的脚又痛又麻。

回到王宫后，他下了一道命令，要将国内的所有道路都铺上一层牛皮。他认为这样做，不只
是为自己，还可造福他的人民，让大家走路时不再受刺痛之苦。但即使杀尽国内所有的牛，
也筹措不到足够的皮革，而所花费的金钱、 动用的人力， 更不知凡几。 虽然根本做不到，
甚至还相当愚蠢，但因为是国王的命令，大家也只能摇头叹息。

一位聪明的仆人大胆向国王提出建言：「国王啊！为什么您要劳师动众，牺牲那么多头牛，
花费那么多金钱呢？您何不只用两小片牛皮包住您的脚呢？」国王听了很惊讶，但也当下领悟，
于是立刻收回成命，改采这个建议。

据说，这就是「皮鞋」的由来。


小哲理：
想改变世界，很难；要改变自己，则较为容易。与其改变全世界，不如先改变自己--「将
自己的 双脚包起来」。改变自己的某些观念和作法，以抵御外来的侵袭。当自己改变后，
眼中的世界自然也就跟着改变了。如果你希望看到世界改变，那么第一个必须改变的就是
自己!!



不要时常埋怨,不要时常感到不满,不要时常有很多怨恨,不要时常问为什么挨骂的又是我呢??
不要问上天 / 社会 /家庭 / 老板给于我们什么东西,问一问自己到底给于/付出于什么东西
给于他们呢??不要尝试叫环境适应你而是我们要学会适应环境^^我们要学会改变的就是自
己,一起迎合美好的一切!!

「心若改变，态度就会改变；态度改变，习惯就改变；习惯改变，人生就会改变。」

将这些故事分享给你的朋友吧！与其一个人受益，不如将道理传播出去。。。
祝你们幸福！~^o^~

Mix & Match with Money

When you feel free, try to ask your friend to take a photo for u see which one is suitable for you... funny :p